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Post by snowyh on Jul 20, 2010 18:09:48 GMT -7
Excerpts from a blog by by James Medhurst - 01 March 2007: Many disabled people find a regular sex life hard to obtain, not only because of physical impairments but also because of psychological ones impacting upon the ability to have a full social life. However, solutions proposed to this problem are not always satisfactory. A Google search shows that, in 2003, the New Zealand Green Party campaigned for the legalisation of prostitution for the benefit of disabled people. At the other end of the liberalism scale, there have been equally perplexing arguments in Denmark, regarding a government policy to use state funding to provide sex workers for disabled people. The opposition parties have claimed that this is immoral, despite the fact that prostitution is perfectly legal for everyone else in the country. Danish society clearly takes the view that sex workers are not being exploited and so it is absurd to suggest that the situation changes merely because disability access is provided by public money. The European Court of Justice has ruled that prostitution is a service for the purpose of laws on the right of establishment and so it would be entirely reasonable, and some would say necessary, to make it equally accessible to all, in countries where it has been legalised. The Green Party of New Zealand seem to think that disabled people have an insatiable appetite for sex which overrides the rights of women while many Danish politicians are obviously disturbed by the fact that we have sex at all. What we want is for people to realise that we are neither uninterested in sex nor gagging for it but have exactly the same desires as everyone else. Link to full article: www.newstatesman.com/blogs/james-medhurst/2007/03/sex-disability-prostitution |
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Post by allenuk on Jul 21, 2010 12:33:41 GMT -7
Blimey.
We have a state-run health service in the UK, but no-one's (yet) suggested that disabled people need help in the direction of sex.
I think if they did, then the reaction from the British amputee community would be GIVE US DECENT PROSTHETIC LIMBS and let us worry about the other...
A.
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Post by oneblueleg on Jul 22, 2010 4:02:15 GMT -7
Blimey. We have a state-run health service in the UK, but no-one's (yet) suggested that disabled people need help in the direction of sex. I think if they did, then the reaction from the British amputee community would be GIVE US DECENT PROSTHETIC LIMBS and let us worry about the other... A. Having said that, if it was free on the NHS, I reckon there'd be a few takers...  |
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ann58
Female Member 
Posts: 278
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Post by ann58 on Jul 22, 2010 6:28:24 GMT -7
Yes, but I hardly think it would be free  LOL what next!! |
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Post by kapteenkoukku on Jul 24, 2010 20:59:24 GMT -7
I do not think that prostitutes would discriminate disabled. Value of a dollar is the same whether it comes from disabled or non-disabled.
Unless these governments think that disabled cannot get unpaid sex from non-prostitutes and are in need of equal rights for sex hence goverment has to compensate.
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Post by carolyn4860 on Aug 12, 2010 6:52:03 GMT -7
I find this hillarious. I have been an amputee since the age of 7, and I am now a couple of months away from my 50th birthday. The only time I have ever had a problem with sex in when I didn't care to have any
;-)
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Post by msalicia48 on Feb 21, 2011 16:06:00 GMT -7
Now on this isssue of being sexual it is not something i am feeling i don't have a desire for sex anymore and it has had me feeling sorta down and not wanted. I feel as if i'm not attractive any more and don't feel wanted by anyone any more due to my body being hacked up by the surgeries i've had from my clogged and blockage in my ateries and it looks horrible to me llike i am a monster put together by a mad scientist. Bless my daughters heart for trying to makeme feel better, but when men look at you different now cause you're on a walker and you know how your body look underneath your clothing it really makes you feel bad on the inside. I use to feel great about myself even when my hair fell out real bad in spots i managed to buy a wig and keep on going, i felt sorta bad and depressed for a minute but after buying a wig and kept going to work and my hair grew back cause it was'nt a super serious and i got over it pretty quickly. Now i'm dealing with the idea of having a prostetic leg its just not so easy, the guys i use to deal with are not around any more it seems that after i went through this ordeal no one has any time for me any more. i am sorta feeling like i'm not wanted by a man now, it is a hard pill to swallow knowing i'm not so attractive like i use to be before all of this happened to me. Sex, i feel like my body is'nt pretty any more so i don't want to show it nor let any one see it cause it looks like it was put together by a mad scientist and just wanted to get it back in one piece without caring how i looks in the end, given the account that i can just put on a swim suit and walk around like other people or even take a swim cause i have to have my prostetic on to get around and need help if i were to try to go swimming. i guess i am just messed up now and some how i'm gotta get over the fact that i am not gonna be able to do the things i use to do or be around the people i once did now that i am in my present state of being with a prostetic leg, just not sexy any more. i have no sex drive either and i believe my surgery and among other things that has happened to my body makes me not have an intimate feeling or want to be in a sexy way any more or intimate relationship either.
Sincerely
msalicia48
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Post by cherylm on Feb 22, 2011 3:37:12 GMT -7
Hi, Alicia...me again! And how on earth did I miss this thread back when it started up?!? (Actually, looking at the initial post date, I know how I missed it...it was right in the middle of my move from Southern California to Northern California and if I recall correctly, I was busy driving a 24' moving van 430 miles on the day this thread started!)
Alicia, I've never been big on dating and I've never depended on men...but there are some really good guys out there who honestly won't mind that you have scars and don't have a leg. You may have to look around some to find them, but they're out there. I have a number of male friends, a number of female friends, and both of those groups include people young and old, disabled and able-bodied. Some of them still think about the fact that I'm one-legged...and some of them don't even know which leg it is I'm missing.
Until they see me at the swimming pool, that is! You really should take a crack at swimming...it's a wonderfully "free" feeling for an amputee! I'll say that it took me a while to get used to being in a pool one-legged. For the first year or two after my amputation, I had a "special" swimsuit that I wore, with a pair of leggings that I'd altered so that one leg was cut off at bathing-suit length and the leg that covered my stump was cut to stump-length and hemmed across the bottom to completely cover my stump and scars. I don't know if it made a difference to the swimmers around me, but it made me feel more secure about being in a public pool. Eventually I adjusted to my "new and improved" body-image and went back to just wearing a regular bathing suit. No-one much cared about that, either. I think we sometimes worry more about our appearance than anyone else does!
It may take you awhile to adjust to the "new you"....but you are still YOU. Remember that...you are much much more than a leg!
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Post by msalicia48 on Feb 24, 2011 9:59:19 GMT -7
Cherylm, i thank you for your words of encouragement and i pray that things do get to look a bit better for me in shorter time, i really appreciate the fact that you took the time to respond to my post and in letting me know that there is still life after amp. I would llike to know if there is someone out there that is into bowling that can possibly help me with a regemine that can help me get back into the one thing that i love the most cause it is really depressing right now not being able to do it right now cause of my present state. I hurt all the time and getting adjusted to my prostetic is really a real challenge for me since its practically new to me. I guess i just have to have someone that is in my condition doing the same thing and then i can get into it easily than i feel it is now, all of the people i am around have both of their limbs and doing different things than myself. So in saying that i truly thank you for responding to my story.
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Post by cherylm on Feb 24, 2011 21:16:35 GMT -7
Alicia, I have not bowled since my amputation, but that's because of problems with my EYES, rather than with my leg. (I had eye injuries following my amputation, and I'm now "not supposed to lift anything heavy." I've always used a full 16-pound bowling ball....so.............) Anyway, I CAN refer you to a contact for amputee bowling! There's an organization here in California called (now don't be turned off by this) "Stumps R Us." It's an amputee support group for "cheerful cripples with a good sense of humor." (Yes, they DO have a weird and warped sense of humor...it helps when you're dealing with being an amputee!) They do a number of social activities, including periodic amputee bowling tournaments. Check out their web site at www.stumps.org or contact their founder, Dan Sorkin, at DanSorkin@gmail.com and see if he can put you in touch with their bowling coordinator. Huh...it looks like I'm not getting actual links posted...but the addresses are current, so just copy and paste into your browser..................... |
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Post by msalicia48 on Feb 25, 2011 10:26:09 GMT -7
Man Mrs. Cherylm i am so grateful for your info, i also am glad that i found this website cause it has truly been an inspiration just by talking to you and your input on the different things i can do i really felt lost cause i did'nt have anyone that could lead me in the right direction for anything. You know its sad thou, i bowled with a male and hes an amputee and do you know that i haven't spoke to him since Oct, of 2009 and it really hurt cause we won together and went ot tournaments together and now since my ordeal i can't even get one word from him let alone trying for two. So to have this sort of access to a website that can help me in any kind of way feels awesome and again i thank you ever so much..... God bless you dear.
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Post by headoncollider on Feb 26, 2011 1:19:19 GMT -7
Just another example of polliticians trying to get into the beds of the public. Also, yet another place they are not wanted, asked for or required. Its rediculous to belive they are "public servants" when they serve no one but their own interests. All logic has been lost to commercialistic beaurocuracy. I UTTERLY DESPISE polliticians (political LAWYERS) and ALL that they stand for. We are individual human beings, not a product of potential asset! Ok, so you can see they p!$$ me off, big time, but the point was that they yet again assume to know better than the people concerned. It would be a nice change if they just asked the people concerned what they wanted as individuals. Everyone is different, so the reality is NOT a blanket solution for everyone, much that polliticians would argue! For several years, then come to no clear agreement, but falsely justify their time and our money. Ok now who wants to talk religion? ;D My God's bigger than your God, SING IT!  |
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Post by msalicia48 on Feb 26, 2011 6:32:08 GMT -7
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Post by ann- on Feb 27, 2011 1:08:45 GMT -7
Hi Msalicia48, have been reading your postings, and just wanted to say don't worry too much at this time about this issue, you've been through a lot and it sometimes take time to adjust to everything .... once you are more confident and comfortable with yourself it won't feel so much of an issue to you .... like Cheryl says 'you are much more than your leg' and the right people will recognize that.
I had both my legs amputated when I was young, so all my 'dating' experiences were without legs, so to speak, we are now more than few years on but am happily married with three grown up children, so there you go, just letting you know that its all possible.
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Post by thegimp on Jun 10, 2012 22:39:34 GMT -7
i was 16 when i lost my leg so my dating and sex life wasnt no ground breaking thing. but i have never found missing a leg to interfear with either ive also found sometime it works great, sympathy sex isnt the worst thing lmao ......... maybe cause im a horny animal with no self controll as my ex put it hahahaha.......yea some things are a little different but its still great......dont let your leg hold you back from doing things
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LOL what next!!
