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Post by snowyh on Jun 17, 2012 17:28:54 GMT -7
I lost my arm at age 15 due to bone cancer, and don't remember having any significant psychological problems with the transition from having 4 limbs to having only 3. As I have aged, I have lost other significant body parts to disease--again with relatively minor emotional difficulty.
However, about ten years ago I broke a tooth and the dentist recommended I get a crown. This was an impossible thought to me! Most of the tooth was still there and still healthy, and I just couldn't see removing most of a healthy tooth and replacing it with a "prosthesis." I simply couldn't agree to it, so my dentist figured out a way to rebuild the broken part while leaving the rest of the tooth intact (with no guarantee of performance)*.
Now I am once again faced with a (different) broken tooth but the same dilemma. The dentist who helped me the last time doesn't accept my current insurance, so I'm with someone new who refuses to entertain any option other than installing a crown. And OH BOY am I having trouble letting go--of a tooth, no less!
What's up with that? Is it because I'm older now and not wanting to face the inevitablility of death (which this represents)? Is it because I never truly grieved the losses of greater body parts? Have I just had enough chopping? Amateur psychologists please chime in!
All of y'all have had experience with loss--does anyone have any sage advice to help me through this? Thanks.
Helen
*it's still doing fine
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Post by stonecutter on Jun 17, 2012 21:44:23 GMT -7
Uh... no advice other than - get the crown. It feels a bit off for a few weeks, but after a while - you won't even notice a difference between it and the rest of your teeth.
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Post by cherylm on Jun 17, 2012 23:56:12 GMT -7
I'm with Stonecutter on the "get the crown" front...I've gotten a few of them over the years, due to either tooth decay (2) or accident (2), and they've performed just fine.
As for the "psychology" part, well....first thing that comes to mind is that, while your other losses were the result of circumstances that could happen at any age, tooth loss is at least PERCEIVED to be specifically an "old person's problem." So, yeah, you may be seeing having a full mouth of natural teeth as proof that you're still "young." Which I wouldn't worry about, Helen! You're a very lively person...if you lived to be 115, you'd STILL be young at heart!
The other possibility that comes to mind....since you've lost "parts" to cancer, where you didn't really have much in the way of options to "hang on to" the diseased bits, maybe you're just being stubborn about giving up a part of yourself that's not likely to kill you???
Anyone else can certainly offer other options here........... :-)
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Post by ann- on Jun 18, 2012 14:06:09 GMT -7
Am kind of with you on the tooth thing Helen .... I've been having probs with a wisdom tooth which definitely needs to come out ... but I am a bit of a wimp when it comes to dentists so have been putting it off ... At christmas I had x rays and am now being told that the wisdom tooth on the other side needs to come out also ... joy of joys ... that side is giving me no probs though so really don't see the point of that coming out. Know the other one has to come out though ... I just need to pluck up a bit of courage!!
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Post by snowyh on Jun 20, 2012 2:30:13 GMT -7
Thanks for the support, ladies & gent. I'm sure I'll ultimately do what needs to be done, but I may get a second opinion before I proceed.
Helen
PS--You guys rock!
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Post by barclay on Jun 20, 2012 20:54:20 GMT -7
... but I am a bit of a wimp when it comes to dentists so have been putting it off ... ;D me too - Big Time ! As a reward for successfully avoid a dentist for about 10 years, I am in the process of getting an implant - fun fun fun. But, not as bad as I had feared (now that most of the work is done). Snowy, I think there is something about people working in you month that makes one feel more vulnerable as well as the age bit. And, they are internal (more than a leg) I think that plays a role as well. wishing you well through this, Cynthia
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Post by stonecutter on Jun 21, 2012 6:41:10 GMT -7
... but I am a bit of a wimp when it comes to dentists so have been putting it off ... Me three! Had a really bad experience where the dentist couldn't get me to freeze, no matter how many times he stuck me with a needle, and silly me, I agreed to go through with it when he said, "I can be really quick..." He wasn't. I'm sure he'd have to replace the arms on that chair because my finger grooves in the leather are likely permanent. Have since found a dentist who ensures I have waaay to much freezing in my face. Often times I can't feel the scalp on the back of my head. There's a note on the file saying "requires an extraordinary amount of freezing." I like notes like that. If they can now only freeze my eardrums so I can actually ignore that inside-your-head-sound of the dentist's tools...
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Post by ann- on Jun 26, 2012 1:13:44 GMT -7
Maybe Helen, like you say you haven't fully grieved your previous losses and that is why you are so loathe to part with this tooth. I do wonder if those of us who lose limbs when we are young, especially if we use a prosthetic, whether we do actually grieve for the loss of that limb, perhaps we do and years later we forget, or perhaps we don't, though I do think maybe those of us who use prostheses are slightly different than amputees who are unable to use prostheses, or say someone who has a spinal injury or something similar. I am not sure how different this is for you having upper-body limb-loss, Helen, but I know as a leg amputee I am pretty dependent on prosthetics and when I can't use those for any reason, especially if its more than a week or so and its a problem my prosthetist doesn't seem able to resolve .... that's when I begin to think about things.
Having had my own limb-loss many years ago I hadn't given that much thought, but a few years back I had quite a few problems with my legs, had to stop working etc. and it did feel like one thing after another, I did have a revision and slowly things did start getting better again ... but I do remember how for a while it was this, and this, and this and then that, I seemed very conscious for a while that very slowly things seemed to be being taken away from me. At the time, I didn't really think of it as not have grieved or whatever, perhaps I did, perhaps I didn't, perhaps it was to do with health, perhaps age, I am not sure, but things seemed to spiral and some very close family members passed on during this time also. So wondering if you too Helen have had a bit of a difficult time lately, or changes in your everyday life.
These feelings though for me did pass and somewhere along the line got my head in a different place .... my feelings with the dentist though, I have to admit, are more fear of pain than loss, I don't mind losing the odd tooth especially if it is causing problems.
Stonecutter, I have probs with freezing as well ..... the usual injections just don't work on me. However, I have on one occasion had a different type of injection, apparently its deeper .... only trouble is numbs so deeply it takes a whole day to thaw out and you are advised not to eat or drink as you can't feel your tongue. I've now decided to have my wisdom teeth taken out under GA.
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