|
Post by dine2057 on Jul 30, 2012 5:16:08 GMT -7
hello. i am a 27 year old male that until Tuesday July 24th 2012 at 10:45 am worked at a shop that created small metal seals. that day i had my right index finger violently ripped off of me in a closing press. there was no chance for reattachment so they removed the entire finger bone down to the wrist in a ray amputation. i know that my case is only a finger and that other people have had it worse, however i have been very traumatized by this event and now am not just scared to see it but i also seem to be having all these flash backs to the accident. the physical pain is not bad at all but the mental issues are really starting to get to me. plus then there is also this burning, itching, wet sensation that makes me think its bleeding which also freaks me out. Called a nurse about the thought of it bleeding and the itching and stuff and she told me it was normal and do not take the wrap off again, we only took the wrap off to check for blood and we made sure to leave the gauze on. plus I have these very slight phantom feelings in the tip of my right index finger.. I guess the reason I am posting this thread is to find someone to talk with about my amputation that knows what to expect in and out.. I’m so terrified to see the spot where my finger once was, to see that incision. Problem is the wrap comes off for the first time tomorrow and I’m already starting to get jumpy and shaky. The last time I seen my hand was when… well never mind, I wont go into detail but suffice it to say it was not pretty and I just don’t know if I am prepared enough to see it just yet. Is there any advice out there for someone at this stage of the process? Any advice is more than welcome, thanks everyone….
|
|
|
Post by allenuk on Jul 30, 2012 7:06:59 GMT -7
Hello dine, and welcome.
As you say, most people here have had other bits of their bodies ripped off (or delicately removed if we've been what passes for 'lucky'), but the feelings you describe are common to many of us.
At one time, before they cut off my leg, I had it in plaster for months (changed weekly), and I ALWAYS but always was convinced that my foot was bleeding and/or had all sorts of fluids leaking out of it. Each week, the nurse showed me my foot - bone dry each time! - but each week I just couldn't get that thought out of my mind. I knew, for certain, that something had happened.
So I know what tricks your brain can pull.
You get over it, dine, is the best I can come up with. It must have been a horrible experience having part of your body torn away in a machine, far worse than most of us experienced - we had anaesthetics, after all - and your mind will take time pushing the memories way back out of sight.
Meditation might help. The Buddhist sort if you're that way inclined, or if not, there is a thing called 'Mindfulness Meditation', which is very similar but cuts out the 'mystery' part. It might help you get calm, and stay calm.
There is a book/CD which might be worth trying: "Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world" by Prof Mark Williams, who lectures at Oxford here in the UK.
(Just had a quick glance on Amazon - the same book in the States is called "Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World" instead). Anyway, it's about $13, which might be cheaper than a bottle of painkillers.
Maybe one of the others here can help more than me - let us know how you are getting on, whatever happens.
Allen, London.
|
|
|
Post by barclay on Jul 30, 2012 9:45:59 GMT -7
You are definitely not alone Dine - although each of us will have had their own experience, what you are saying is something we have all (I think anyway) experienced. Yes, it will get better. Meditation is really helpful - and I found Full Catastrophe Living by JK Zinn and The Power of Now by Ekhart Tolle also very helpful. You are on the right course having reached out and, don't worry, life will get 'normal' again!
|
|
|
Post by ann- on Jul 30, 2012 11:54:58 GMT -7
Hi Dine, as Allen has said, the brain can play tricks with all the different sensations and feelings you can feel following this sort of surgery, my amputations were through trauma too and I also had nightmares after seeing them for the first time, but as I got used to them and the wounds healed they did subside. I also had revision surgery on one of my legs a few years ago and even though I was eager to find out how they'd improved things, I didn't actually look at it that closely, initially... and can also remember the feelings that it was bleeding or whatever, but it was only sensations, something the medics don't always warn you about. If it was me i'd tell the nurse how you are feeling, hopefully she will be understanding and let you come to terms with it all in your own time. If your concerns about your hand continue though, perhaps ask about some counselling.
Allen, by sheer coincidence I have just purchased the Mindfulness book you mentioned, its an excellent read and am practicing the eight week plan.
|
|
|
Post by stonecutter on Jul 30, 2012 15:03:35 GMT -7
Had the same type of issue after my amputation. I got used to seeing the space where my foot used to be with a blanket over top alright, but I dreaded the though of actually seeing the unwrapped stump. So what I did was asked a nurse what I should expect. She very succinctly described what a post-op amputation looks like. She did a very good job because when it was unwrapped and I was shown around my new stump (with a mirror) it looked EXACTLY the way I was expecting it to.
Getting used to an amputation (no matter what the amputation is...) is no easy task, but I'm sure all the folks here will tell you that it gets better if you're willing to accept that your finger is gone and make the concerted effort to try to move past it.
Welcome to these forums. We're here to help.
Trevor.
|
|
|
Post by dine2057 on Jul 30, 2012 16:40:58 GMT -7
I really appreciate having heard from others who share similar experiences. It really comforts me to know that there are others out there that I can talk to and come to with my issues and fear and concerns. Thank you all for sharing your stories and experiences with me as it has really helped me in this unknown territory I am entering. I will definitely give meditation a try. I am seeing my doctor tomorrow so he should be able to help answer some questions as well. Thanks again, I will keep in touch for sure!
|
|
|
Post by cherylm on Jul 30, 2012 19:36:35 GMT -7
Hi, Dine...You've already gotten some good information here...I'll just add that you've only been dealing with this traumatic injury for a single week. While your loss of a finger is not necessarily as "major" as losing an entire limb, it's still a very major thing to you. You have every right to feel concerned, frightened, and worried about how you'll cope with the aftermath of the injury! It's not something you can put completely behind you in a week's time...so just take it a few steps at a time and deal with each issue and emotion as it arrives. There is no such thing as a "normal time line" for recovering from the amputation of some miscellaneous part of yourself. There's the physical healing part...the rehabilitation and learning how to go on with your everyday activities...the coming to terms with what your body (hand) looks like now...and reaching the point where all of the above no longer matters to you and you just go on with life. All those steps may happen quickly or slowly, in sequence or simultaneously or in random order...and however it happens, it's OK.
It's very possible that you'll eventually get past the feeling of "bleeding" or "pain" or "presence" of the finger...but even those events can happen quickly, slowly, or in any sort of random order. Again, whatever happens is OK.
In my case, I never had a feeling of "bleeding" or "wetness," and I had very few "phantom" pains (which are called "phantom" because they appear to be coming from a body part that is no longer there, not because they are not painful)...but I DID continue to feel that my lower left leg was "still there" for over a year after it was actually gone! In some ways that was an advantage to me...it can be disconcerting to trust walking on a prosthetic leg, but since I was still feeling my original leg, I felt very secure learning to use its prosthetic replacement. Eventually the "presence" of my leg faded away, with one exception: I still "feel" my phantom big toe! It just rattles around in the approximately correct position down in my prosthetic foot, and I've come to terms with it "being there." Like anything else in the life of an amputee, I've gotten used to it, life goes on, and it's OK.
Good luck with your doctors visit!
|
|
|
Post by dine2057 on Jul 31, 2012 19:18:14 GMT -7
ok now i got the wrap off and the staple job is loose and they are wiggling and hurting me can anything be done about this? plus i developed all these tiny little bumps on the affected hand that itch like hell. i don't know what to do here is this normal
|
|
|
Post by stonecutter on Aug 1, 2012 10:28:29 GMT -7
Are you on pain medications? I usually have a similar reaction where I get itchy bumps if I'm on morphine... well... if I'm on too much morphine. Itchy like if I start scratching, I won't stop unless I break the skin itchy...
|
|
|
Post by dine2057 on Aug 1, 2012 20:12:02 GMT -7
yeah that itchy. and i'm on lortabs . thats probably the cause but i have been on them for over a week and when they first took the wrap off those bumps were not there, he changes my medication to tylenol 3 and boom those bumps were all over the top of my hand. i stopped taking them but they still aren't gone. they are like little itchy blisters filled with clear fluid. should i call a doctor about it?
|
|
|
Post by stonecutter on Aug 2, 2012 7:16:29 GMT -7
I would definitely be asking about them. Sounds like a reaction to me if I ever heard one. You may need to change pain meds to something else. Watch those T3s... they will constipate you like the dickens! No foolin'!
|
|
ann58
Female Member
Posts: 278
|
Post by ann58 on Aug 2, 2012 12:18:04 GMT -7
Dine, just as everyone has said., we were all scared the first time we saw our amputation. Slowly you will get adjusted to seeing what is left as normal. It will take some time for you to not have the sensation that your finger is still there. I am not talking about pain, just that it feels like its still there. Welcome to our group.
|
|
|
Post by dine2057 on Aug 2, 2012 16:10:33 GMT -7
thank you ann, can't say that i love being welcomed into such a group but i'm sure i'm not alone in that. no one wants to lose a body part and its simply tragic no matter the size. however i have to say that it has been an eye and heart opening experience for sure. on a different note tho, has anyone heard of and might be able to validate a rumor i've heard that states the a worker that loses a finger is entitled to 10'000 dollars per knuckle? i know i should get 38 full weeks of worker comp, but if i could get 30k on top of that it would be awesome. i am going to sue the company tho cause i may be charitable but i don't just go around handing out my body parts you know. the way i figure it they stole a piece of me so i deserve to make them pay a substantial amount of money to at least try and make up for changing my life in an unpleasant way.
|
|
|
Post by stonecutter on Aug 3, 2012 9:19:32 GMT -7
Compensation rates and rules vary by state/province. You'll have to review that with your caseworker.
From experience my best advise to you is go easy. If you come across as angry and seeking vengeance on your employer, usually you'll end up having a hard time with your caseworker.
In my case - keeping a good relationship with my caseworker had her pointing out benefits that I didn't even know existed while I was off work this winter having a revision surgery for 8 weeks. If she found me hard to deal with, it would have been real easy for her to just keep quiet about it and let me find (or not find) the benefit for myself.
If you treat compensation as a tool to get you back working and not a means to cash in on a mistake (either by you or by an employer) you'll end up getting more out of this. Take advantage of rehabilitation services like Physio and Occupational Therapies that they can provide, retraining programs should your new missing digit require you to change occupations, further medical consults with occupational injury physicians, etc...
I only write all this, because I sense (and I could be wrong) that you were in the anger stage of the grieving process when you wrote that post. You'll need to gain control of yourself before you make any outrageous statements or claims. When you deal with your caseworker at Compensation or your employer, always be calm and cooperative.
As far as dollar amounts... well - I didn't receive near that much of payout money for losing a leg, and it was from an insurance policy, not WCB (Workers Compensation Board). I am on a permanent pension from WCB, which is based on what I was making at the time. Working as a labourer in a summer job at $12/hr. Then they factored in my percentage of disability - which their physicians determined that I was 33% disabled (which surprised me - I thought it would be less). My first pension cheque was ~$320 or so per month. It gets adjusted for cost of living, so I think in 2012 we broke the $425 mark or something. But as I said - that wasn't what I was going to school to do for my occupation. It was just the summer job between years at school.
The best thing I can say is worry about getting yourself back working. What happened happened. You can't reverse the hands of time. So now **you** have a choice - you can get on with your life or you can dwell in your anger. The sooner you get on with it - the better for everyone.
|
|
|
Post by stonecutter on Aug 7, 2012 9:18:13 GMT -7
dine2057 - How are you making out? I hope I didn't offend you with my previous post - that wasn't my intent if you were...
Are you feeling better?
|
|