Writing about amputation

[writer]

Hello,

I am a writer who is writing a YA novel in which the main character is an amputee. She has lost her right arm above the elbow. Prior to that she had dreams of becoming an Olympic archer and feels her dreams are dashed.

I've been reading about amputation/prosthetics, etc online, as well as memoirs of people who have amputations. And browsing on the forums here. I was wondering if I could ask questions about people's experiences? If you don't feel comfortable answering all questions I understand. I am not an amputee but wanted to write about this as authentically and compassionately as possible.

If there's anything else you think might be helpful feel free to add it. 


1.  How did you feel when the doctors told you they'd have to amputate?

2. For those who lost an arm (particularly above the elbow) what physical therapy did you work on?

3. Did you receive occupational therapy? What kind?

4. Did you worry about how others would view you? (friends, family, etc)

5. Was it hard to look at your residual limb for the first time? What feelings went through your head?

5.  I've heard it said by some amputees that it hits them how much has changed when they return home. Did that happen for you? Did you have a realization that things had changed? Did things that were once simple become challenges?

6. How long until you were fitted with a  prosthesis? How did you learn how to use it?  What kind did you decide on? Has it worked well for you? 

7. Did you go through the grieving process? What stages were hardest for you?

8. Did you have moments of  "why did this happen? Why did it happen to me? What am I going to do now?" Do you still get those thoughts?

9. How do you think your life has changed since your amputation?

[snowyh]

Apr 30, 2017 16:58:40 GMT -7 writer said:

1. How did you feel when the doctors told you they'd have to amputate? The doctors told my parents, and my parents told me (I was 15). I guess I felt a little like a trapped animal. Contemplated whether it was a better option to die from cancer with two arms or have a chance at surviving with only one arm.

2. For those who lost an arm (particularly above the elbow) what physical therapy did you work on? None offered, none taken.

3. Did you receive occupational therapy? What kind? I wasn't offered any occupational therapy.

4. Did you worry about how others would view you? (friends, family, etc) Never worried about friends/family at all. Definitely worried about how those I'd yet to meet--potential employers, potential love interests, etc.--would view me. Turned out those concerns were mostly valid.

5. Was it hard to look at your residual limb for the first time? What feelings went through your head? The first time I looked in a mirror there was a spot of blood coming through the bandage. I felt a little light-headed, probably not because of the blood, but more likely due to seeing my amputated self for the first time. I was somewhat surprised at just how extensive the surgery was, taking the shoulder (including collar bone & shoulder blade) as well as the arm. Much more disfiguring than I had expected.

5. I've heard it said by some amputees that it hits them how much has changed when they return home. Did that happen for you? Did you have a realization that things had changed? Did things that were once simple become challenges? What had changed for me was less how different it would be for me to function than it was how others' expectations of me had been altered. It frankly never occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to continue doing what I always had done, albeit in a different way. However, friends, family, teachers etc. expected less of me. As an example, I had been taking piano lessons prior to the amputation (not particularly talented, but I enjoyed it). Upon returning home after surgery, I was devastated to find that my parents had sold "my" piano because they didn't want me to have a visual reminder in the house of my loss. Though my parents' hearts were in the right place, I was upset that the piano was gone because I had fully expected to continue playing.

6. How long until you were fitted with a prosthesis? How did you learn how to use it? What kind did you decide on? Has it worked well for you? I got fitted for my first prosthesis when I was a senior in college, preparing for job interviews--about 10 years after I lost my arm. No need to learn how to use it as it was cosmetic only--a shoulder cap to balance out my appearance and keep suit jackets from sliding off. It's a necessary evil... very hot and uncomfortable, so I only wear it on special occasions. But I'm happy to have it.

7. Did you go through the grieving process? What stages were hardest for you? Well, I guess I've gone though (and continue to go through) all the stages of loss to some degree: denial, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance. Gosh, I don't really think it was all that hard... perhaps it's just easier for children to adjust their expectations of life.

8. Did you have moments of "why did this happen? Why did it happen to me? What am I going to do now?" Do you still get those thoughts? Not really. Fairly early on I had a sense that the whole cancer/amputation thing was balancing the scales somehow--as though some karmic debt (from a prior life?) was being settled. Happy to strike that one off the balance sheet!

9. How do you think your life has changed since your amputation? Well, I do think it has made me more socially withdrawn. When in public I no longer even notice the stares of strangers nor the comments of children ("Look, Mommy, that lady doesn't have an arm!"). I have learned to anticipate the unspoken questions of potential employers and try to dispel any doubts they may have but dare not ask. Due to a combination of my own self-doubt and that of my employer, I probably haven't risen as far in my career as I might have with a full complement of limbs. My least favorite thing is being in a business or social situation where I have to meet strangers. Because most people shake hands with their right hand, and I have none, it can be a bit awkward for both parties.

10. What was the cause of your amputation? Do you feel personally responsible for the loss of your arm? Do you blame someone else for the loss of your arm? Cancer, no (other than karmic debt relief), and no.

11. Did you receive any psychological therapy? Did it help? I had one session with a psychiatrist after my surgery. It seemed like a waste of time to me and my parents didn't make me go back.

12. Did the loss of your arm affect your career? I was always planning to be a desk jockey anyway, so it didn't affect my choice of career. And the advent of personal computers made the playing field even more level.

Helen

PS--You may be interested in this post by forum member Jill, who was a promising pianist before she lost her arm (above elbow) in an automobile accident amputees.proboards.com/thread/501/introduction-jill

[writer]

Thank you for answering my questions. They helped a lot! Thanks also for the link, it helped too!