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Post by johnscott201 on Oct 16, 2017 10:54:32 GMT -7
I am desperate. My wife and I were in a terrible wreck on the 13th. We back ended a fully loaded U-Haul truck at 40 miles an hour. Doesn't seem like much but it was on the passenger side just at the head light. It crushed the truck so bad my wife was pined in by the glove box. We were on the Alaska Highway in the middle of no where. Long story short I had a chain and we pulled the door off with the U-Haul truck and finally hooked the chain to the door post and got compartment away from her so she could breath. She was still trapped and we had to pry the back door off and pull the rear seats out and extract her out the back drivers side door. The problem was it took 3 hours... We were taken to the nearest clinic that was thank God only 20 miles away. We were flown to Whitehorse, Yukon first and then transported to Anchorage where they decided to transport us to Seattle due to multiple injuries. Today she is having pelvis surgery the day after they did what they could for her crushed right foot. Before the surgery today the plastic surgeon came in and said they can't save her foot due to the extent of the damage. She is refusing to have the amputation because she doesn't want to be "a cripple". She is very depressed. We have been married for 10 years and she is my life. Only two days till the surgery.... What do I do???
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Post by snowyh on Oct 17, 2017 4:25:37 GMT -7
John, I'm so sorry to hear about your recent tragedy. Wow, how to respond? I know you only want what's best for your wife. My first thought is, unless there's some urgency to having the amputation, postpone it! Get a second opinion, and a third. You don't want her living the rest of her life wondering if she might have been able to save her foot (and possibly resenting you for forcing her into the decision to amputate). Right now you're both still traumatized from the accident, and it would be better if you have the time to think, research, and heal a bit before making this decision. If the decision is ultimately made to amputate, then there are lots of resources available to your wife (like this forum) to help her cope with her new situation, but that's just a footnote for now. Let us know how she progresses.
Helen
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Post by cherylm on Oct 17, 2017 12:45:24 GMT -7
John, Helen's given you great advice as a "first step." Your wife doesn't seem able to grasp that her foot actually is "crippled" at this point. I can't blame her for that...she's been through a horribly traumatic experience. She needs to reach the point where she can be assured that life without the foot will be more normal than life with the foot. That means she needs to be convinced that nothing the doctors can do will make her foot truly normal again...and the best way for her to learn that would be to either have multiple second opinions OR to go through a repair attempt or two and see what the outcome is. It would be easier (and much less expensive) if she has the time to investigate and get opinions from a variety of doctors.......
One thing she might need to consider is that the vast majority of surgeons do NOT want to perform an amputation and would NOT recommend one unless it was fruitless to do anything else.
She's facing something she never expected to in her life...try to be gentle, supportive, but firm...and DO try to buy her the time to so that SHE can be the one to decide that life with one foot can be just as good as life with two. It can, you know...but the decision should be hers.
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Post by stonecutter on Oct 17, 2017 14:52:36 GMT -7
Wow, sorry to hear about your crazy ordeal. I suffered a crushing injury of my left foot. One thing that helped me with my decision (amongst other complications) was a discussion about what quality of life I could truly expect to see with the damages to my foot. The doctors / physical therapists / nurses who discussed my options with me didn't paint a real pretty picture.
I think if amputation isn't an option for her, a discussion about that may change her mind.
Please let us know how we can help. I wish her well.
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Post by johnscott201 on Oct 26, 2017 18:55:16 GMT -7
Hi all. Sorry to take so long to get back. We have been up and down this last week. It looks so far that the surgeons will be able to keep her foot. Going into surgery in the morning to skin graft what they can and put the artificial skin on other places. She has over 60% of her skin missing because of the accident. I would have never guessed they would even come close to saving her foot. She is strong now and has accepted the fact that she still may loose it. But it really looks like she will survive this and keep it. Thanks to the surgeons here at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle. I will keep you all updated as this challenge takes place. Thank you very much for your concerns. John and Nora
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Post by cherylm on Oct 26, 2017 23:56:54 GMT -7
I hope that all works out well for her, John...do keep us informed!
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Post by stonecutter on Oct 27, 2017 9:03:28 GMT -7
All the best! Hoping for a positive outcome for you.
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Post by johnscott201 on Nov 3, 2017 11:07:47 GMT -7
Nora went thru the amp today. The foot was to damaged to save and after 4 surgeries the risk of infection was to great. Now we need to get on with our lives. Gonna need to research a lot for BKA accessories. She will not be able to put any weight on her pelvis for two months till the bones heal so this is another factor we have to deal with. We will need to do rehab therapy on her leg till then. Any suggestions or if anyone has gone thru this challenge will help us a lot. Thanks all, John and Nora www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100012694036182www.norascott.com/ |
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Post by cherylm on Nov 4, 2017 1:51:00 GMT -7
Well, I'm sorry that you two are having to face this...but at least the matter was "settled" before Nora had to endure too many surgeries and she is infection-free. Trust me, as someone who wound up losing her leg to an infection, being infection-free will give her a tremendous advantage during her recovery.
It sounds like Nora is in for a long recovery period. One of the best things she can do at this point is to get set up with a good physical therapist and do everything she possibly can to keep herself strong while her bones are knitting. The better condition she's able to reach before starting to train with a prosthesis, the easier that adjustment will be. Upper body strength is important for a BKA...core strength is even more so, but a pelvic injury may make that harder to work on initially.
She might also want to spend some time educating herself on prosthetists and prosthetics for her level of amputation. The more you can learn, the easier the adjustment to living with a prosthesis.
Just because of all her other injuries, it will take a longer time for Nora's recovery...but please, please know that you can recover well and live a full and normal life with just one foot.
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Post by snowyh on Nov 4, 2017 2:58:54 GMT -7
Even though it took a couple of weeks and multiple surgeries, it sounds like the surgeon did everything he/she could to save her foot, which should put Nora's mind at ease as far as the necessity for amputation--that's good... no lifetime of wondering "What if?". I read the story your niece posted about the multiple tragedies you & Nora have undergone this year, and this accident was only the latest (and not even the worst) hardship the two of you have suffered. Well, if the platitudes are right, the two of you should emerge from 2017 capable of handling anything that Life hands you. Your strength amazes me.
Helen
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Post by johnscott201 on Nov 4, 2017 9:05:19 GMT -7
We are moving forward. I think the time before the amp gave her time to think also. She is excited to get back to her life. With these kinds of forums it will help a lot and we will be here learning a lot. Thank you all very much.
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Post by stonecutter on Nov 4, 2017 19:54:07 GMT -7
Wow - the sequence of surgeries is very familiar for me... I lost my big toe first too...
Anyway - glad that she's on the road to recovery and that she chances of infection are lessened now.
It sucks - wish there was a magic wand to make us all whole again, but all I can say now is... Nora - welcome to the club! If you keep your head up - you'll get through this!
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Post by johnscott201 on Nov 5, 2017 9:45:20 GMT -7
Yesterday was ruff. don't know why she is having so much pain in her leg. Says it feel like her calf. They have her on a nerve block and morphine drip. Some other meds to keep her calm. Little better today. Starting physical therapy today. She's not liking that at all but is going ahead. Thanks all for your support.
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Post by stonecutter on Nov 7, 2017 22:49:58 GMT -7
I remember waking up after my amputation and looking down in the bed at where my foot used to be and feeling... broken. It's a lot to get used to. There's a lot of anxiety associated with it once it sinks in that this is forever. I also very vividly remember going to physio for the first time. They encouraged my family not to come and to take the opportunity to go for lunch or something instead. I remember getting wheeled for seemingly forever to the basement or some god-awful hole in the hospital where the painted walls were very hospital-green. They rolled me up to some parallel bars and said all I have to do today was stand up for a couple minutes. No problem. I stood up, and by doing so, I went to put weight on my left side (freshly minus one foot (appendage and height))  . Anyhow - grasping the bars, I stood there feeling like the whole world was staring at the freak show (vainly, as I'm sure they were working on their own issues), and then there was a rush of blood to my stump. It felt like it would explode. There was this immense pressure and a lot of pain that went along with it. I remember it seeming like the world was quickly getting smaller and darker as I was blacking out. The next thing I knew I was sitting in the chair and on my way back to my room. There was also the first bandage change after my amputation. Again - it was recommended that my folks go for lunch. During surgery they put a rather tight shrinker sock on my stump. I didn't realize that it was a problem, but it was. With the swelling from the trauma of my accident, and the drain tube coming out of the incision. At any rate - the shrinker sock and tube came off/out in very quick succession. I remember screaming my face off as the world went small and dark again. It wasn't a pleasant moment - I still get squeamish when I think about it and it's been 23 years. I felt happy my mom wasn't there to witness that - she'd have lost her mind. These are strange experiences to tell you about, but I wanted to illustrate that there are moments during recovery that will be unpleasant for the both of you. You need to be strong for her and help her through it. She needs that from you right now and you may need someone to talk to to help you deal with it to. Don't forget about taking care of yourself too. My dad was there during my bandage changes at the start - burns, infection, protruding bones, loss of skin, exposed muscle - he has a very vivid memory of what he saw, heard, smelled as he helped me through it. I will never be able to express my gratitude for his (and my mom's) support during that time. Keep it up - keep yourself positive, and encourage positivity for her too. Small steps to recovery is always best. |
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Post by johnscott201 on Nov 8, 2017 7:34:28 GMT -7
Nora and I went to a BKA support session yesterday and it was very uplifting to say the least. Stories like yours was shared. It opened our eyes to what the next few weeks will be like. Some good and some bad. I think with this sharing and conversations will help us a lot. Everyone was different and gave her a prospective of hope actually. She is a strong person as well as a weak person as we all are but her strength is in her sense of humor. Thank you for sharing. Very emotional and inspiring...
On another note Uhaul has started a GoFundMe that I hope will help us thru these times of limited funds as we had no healthcare or insurance. Wonderful company!
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Post by cherylm on Nov 8, 2017 14:46:51 GMT -7
A good sense of humor will be tremendously useful for Nora...sometimes, if you can't laugh, you'll just cry, and laughing is so much better for your health! My own amputee story is not nearly as frustrating or painful as what stonecutter's is; mine was not the result of a terrible, traumatic accident, and my recovery was slow but not terribly painful. We're all different, as you discovered at your support group meeting...but that also means that you'll have a wide variety of perspectives and advice as you two make your way in this new world. A network of fellow amputees will be an invaluable resource for both of you...so take advantage of it!
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Post by johnscott201 on Dec 17, 2017 20:21:00 GMT -7
Hi all. We arrived in Anchorage six weeks after being in Seattle. It's been a new experience for both of us and a learning one at that BUT.... Nora was fitted last week and actually stood on her two legs for the first time in two months. BUT only to get fitted. She actually tried to walk the bars and the prosthesis had to scold her. He said she was spunky. I almost cried watching her walk again. She knows that with her pelvis broken she needs a little more time to heal. She has a lot of spunk for a woman that almost lost her life. Were still needing financial help but you know, it's gonna be ok. We went and seen the truck last week after being in Canada for almost two months and it was a very emotional day. Thanks to all for your support and trust me were gonna need lots more. John and Nora Scott We met on a website called FOTKI. Here is our life and it's open for all our family and friends.... public.fotki.com/jlscott/our-new-life/ |
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. Anyhow - grasping the bars, I stood there feeling like the whole world was staring at the freak show (vainly, as I'm sure they were working on their own issues), and then there was a rush of blood to my stump. It felt like it would explode. There was this immense pressure and a lot of pain that went along with it. I remember it seeming like the world was quickly getting smaller and darker as I was blacking out. The next thing I knew I was sitting in the chair and on my way back to my room.