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Hello
Apr 12, 2019 0:33:40 GMT -7
Post by orangekazzie on Apr 12, 2019 0:33:40 GMT -7
Hi
I lost a third of my middle finger recently. I know compared to most then my loss is minor but I’m struggling to come to terms with it. I find I just cannot look at it. It’s healing very well and nearly closed over. The finger got trapped in a ratchet type ladder. I fell backwards off the ladder and unfortunately I grabbed the side of the ladder when I fell, the ratchet wasn’t clicked into place fully until I fell. It ripped the top third of my finger off leaving me with just a stump with bone sticking out. I was told at the hospital that because it was ripped off then they couldn’t sew it back on. They grafted skin from the severed section. This happened the end of November 2018. I’m still struggling to look at it without feeling sick and wanting to cry. My daughter tells me it’s a grieving process I’m going through, and in time I will get used to it.
Also is it normal for it to feel soooo cold? It’s a good colour, sometimes even purple at the tip. I’m using a paraffin wax bath daily to help with the skin renewal and to stop it drying out.
People led tell me it could have been worse, yes I know that, but I’m probably just feeling sorry for myself.
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Hello
Apr 12, 2019 8:25:08 GMT -7
Post by snowyh on Apr 12, 2019 8:25:08 GMT -7
Hello, orangekazzie, and welcome to the forum--so sorry that you qualify for membership. Every loss is relative, and each person will react to loss in their own way, so there's no need to minimize your physical loss compared with those of others. I agree with your daughter that you're going through the grieving process, and I'll add that this process is essential for you to heal emotionally, so please give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling without apology. You may want to google "the 5 stages of grief" to learn a bit about what you're experiencing. Your injury is relatively new, so no one expects you to have dealt with the loss and be moving on yet (except maybe you?). Emotional healing is not linear and may take years, so give yourself the time YOU need to heal.
I personally feel that an accidental amputation is more difficult to come to terms with than one caused by birth defect or disease because, besides having to adjust to the physical loss, there may also be a deep-seated feeling of responsibility for the accident ("If I had only done something differently") to confront. As everyone heals at their own pace physically, so will we emotionally. Some seem to pull through well enough on their own, and others may need professional help--there's no shame in asking for assistance.
I'm glad you're reaching out to fellow amputees; your online search led you to our forum, and that's a step in the right direction. There are many resources available online and in person (depending on where you are in the world). If you're in the USA you may look for a local chapter of the ACA/Amputee Coalition of America--they have peer counselors available to help recent amputees.
As far as your finger feeling cold, I have no experience with this personally and cannot add to the discussion. I'd suggest keeping your surgeon in the loop because he/she should be able to give you some advice in that area.
Feel free to explore the forum--we have a lot of knowledge here--revive old threads if necessary, and by all means please let us know how things are progressing for you!
Helen
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