autumn
New Member
Single lbka
Posts: 2
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Post by autumn on Jan 31, 2023 7:24:59 GMT -7
It’s been awhile now. I became an lbka July 2018. It’s been very hard. I lost my leg at the age of 40. With no other preexisting conditions; not diabetic. Never had vascular problems. Never even broken a bone. I’m still so angry. I am most certainly not the person I used to be and fear I never will again. I’m so disgusted with myself. I seldom look in a mirror anymore. I haven’t been intimate with anyone since. Sometimes I long for some type of companionship but who wants to deal with the extra hassle. That’s what I feel like I am. It bothers me for people to stare even tho I know I shouldn’t let it get to me. I don’t leave the house for weeks at a time. I don’t answer phone calls. I’ve had 3 prosthetics, so far. The last one is pin lock system. I’ve tried and tried. At this point it’s so painful; due to my core muscles being obsolete at this point from being in a chair this long. This is still so hard. So unfair. I still want my leg 🥲
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rg8
New Member
Posts: 32
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Post by rg8 on Jan 31, 2023 8:18:53 GMT -7
Hi,Autumn! Sorry to hear about your troubles. I'm a right BKA from an accident 2 years ago. Initially, the whole thing of loosing a limb was extremely depressing, I spent several weeks curled up in the fetal position in my bedroom not wanting to see other people or talk to anyone. A person I know introduced me to a mentor (also an amputee), who got me out of my shell. With his help, I was able to regain my confidence and self esteem and I have completely reversed my outlook. I now wear shorts or hiking kilts (very comfortable and easy to put on and take off) and I show off my prosthesis not giving a rat's a... what anybody thinks. Sure, I get stares, comments (some nice, some really stupid), the occasional salute from some military guy who thinks I lost my leg in the war, etc. But I do not let anyone get under my skin. This is me, this is how I choose to dress, if someone does not approve, oh, well. I hope this helps.
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Post by snowyh on Feb 7, 2023 15:16:01 GMT -7
Yep, it takes time (sometimes a looong time) to adjust emotionally to the new state of affairs. My suggestion would be to seek professional counseling. Really. If you still feel this bad after 4+ years, you're not doing yourself any favors by just hoping that things will get better on their own.
Helen
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rg8
New Member
Posts: 32
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Post by rg8 on Feb 19, 2023 17:30:03 GMT -7
Helen, you are absolutely right, and Autumn, I would definitely get someone to help. It does not necessarily have to be a psychologist or psychiatrist, but someone who will listen to you and perhaps provide some insight. Each one of us is different and react differently to our terrible circumstances. I have found a great deal of inspiration with 2 mentors who are also amputees, both with very different stories, and both having overcome incredible obstacles that make my amputation seem like a paper cut. I don't mean to belittle your circumstances, on the contrary,the whole thing seems really unfair. However, life goes on and there are many amputees like you or me that have achieved incredible things. Reach out to the Amputee Coalition they have very good resources, also your prosthetist or your doctor may have some contacts. This forum is also a good starting point to connect with others. There is also a guy on YouTube who happens to be a psychologist and therapist, his name is Chris and he is from South Africa. I really like his blog because he is very calm and soothing and has always very informative topics to discuss. His story of how he became an amputee truly shows the remarkable resilience of the human spirit. I hope this helps, please don't hesitate to contact any of us here for more help or advice. Ruy
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